A study in the US has just shown that “the incidence of serious psychological distress within the past year was 12 percent among non-parenting adults aged 18-49, compared with 8.9 percent for parents”.

As a new parent of a 2 1/2 year old and a 2 month old, I’m glad there’s an upside.

Only joking of course, they are angels but as such a recent father I can attest to the major life changes having children brings on.

But why would having kids increase emotional resilience?

The first thing that springs to mind is that having children decreases your concern with yourself, which is a common feature of psychological problems. Sure, it makes you worry more, but because that worry is focused on something outside of yourself, perhaps it is more likely to lead to active problem solving than rumination.

Another key aspect of having kids is the way it helps meet your basic needs for emotional wellbeing.

Your need for attention is bolstered as you give attention to your kids and get it back (occasionally!) And your social circle tends to increase as you meet parents of other children.

True enough, the sleep part of your mind-body needs tends to get hammered, but I wonder how many adults start taking better care of themselves once they have kids.

Your need for purpose and meaning is of course strongly fed into in such a profound way as is difficult to engineer otherwise.

Your sense of community increases as you naturally have to get more involved as you find out what’s out there for your child.

And so on. Personally, I think that the degree to which having children improves your meeting of your basic needs is a strong contender for why parents appear to be more emotionally resilient. Any other thoughts?