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November 2008
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Happiness: Not getting what you want but wanting what you have

Happy people are more likely to get married and stay married, they are more likely to earn more and live longer and have more friends (although if people are too happy they may be less successful than the their moderately happy counterparts). But what makes you, me, us happy?

How happy are you right now? 10 being ecstatic and 1 being miserable? Ok don’t answer that. Any way what makes us happy? It seems its having what we need and appreciating it rather than getting what we think we want especially if we come to take it for granted. Getting basic needs met means that we can live life free of always trying to emotionally stabilize ourselves. Then again too much focus on the self doesn’t seem to make us happier either.

Selfish people certainly don’t tend to be happier. In fact we can feel happier when we focus off the self. Unhappiness can prompt people to try to ’self-medicate’ by over-spending on themselves via retail therapy but this research found that it’s spending on others that makes us happier The gratitude attitude is certainly a key to happiness.

Being grateful for what one does have can promote a sense of wellbeing and, of course, diminish dissatisfaction. Sure dissatisfaction can lead to progress but if it runs riot in a life then that life can feel meaningless. I think ultimately we are led to believe that happiness comes through receiving and getting perhaps without effort when in many cases it might be the opposite (See: Hike your way to happiness)

Mark

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